Christmas Eve, our bfff (bff-family) sat in our living room to well past midnight going around in a circle announcing lessons learned in 2010. Our two fams seemed to have learned with and from each other this past year, but one lesson in particular hit home for me. Something my mom pointed out in my life was noticed by our mother-daughter best friend pair -> to take things in stride, cherishing the moment you're in. Rather than always planning ahead, or permanently sticking your nose in your phone, to value the people you're physically around is invaluable. Time passes slower. Quality ensues. It's a lesson I'm glad I've matured into.
I've always known I had a love/hate relationship with technology. My interests and career path fights directly against my dream of living in another time. My infatuation with the 80s and earlier eras comes full circle with absence of over communication devices and video game addictions. Old-fashioned quality time is something that I've come to wish my generation knew more about. Game-nights, hours of visiting, creative ways to make toys... I'm thinkin' it was Back to the Future that solidified this.
In fact, my movie-marathon'n taught me more than just one thing... It was the redeeming message of "She's Out of my League" that helped me realize everyone's a 10. I hate "dating rating" and it helped me realize that there really is no such thing. Sometimes I realize how shallow I think the world is. And sometimes I let my cynical self take a little too much control. And a lot of times, I base my self worth on over-pumped egoistic opinions of who is or isn't good enough. But none of that really matters, does it. I've come to realize that everyone has a perfect someone for them, and how beautiful if no one understands it.
This brings me to my compliment challenge I made with a dear friend. I noticed how often I compliment others based on things they have absolutely no control over. "You're so pretty," etc. So I dared myself to start passing out confidence boosters for attributes and accomplishments that people can actually change. i.e. "You've really gotten into shape," or "I admire how honest you always are, so-n-so."
I've also noticed how I backwardly treat those I care most for, with the least concern and compassion. It's like the child's rut of knowing you're wrong but having too much pride and shame to admit it to your parents, so you just lock yourself up in your room and cry. It's a hurdle I'm intentionally jumping over.
Looking back on this past year, I can see a year of growth-spurts for my maturity and self-revelations. I've had more hit-over-the-head "ah" moments than any other 365. I've learned to accept, listen, think un-selfishly, look fairly, and realize when I'm wrong {notice, I didn't say admit} :) So thank you, to everyone who helped shape me into the woman I'm becoming, and those that picked me up when I fell.
My summer of "you've got to learn how to fall before you can learn how to fly" wouldn't be possible without my "motherbff", my mizzou cheerleader, my rhinosaur or my family. Y'all taught me so much, and were just there when there was nothing to say. You set up my fall, for the best ever semester of my life. Thank you to my BEEF, kaebaby, #46 roomies, lils, and "sisters" for always believing in me and putting up with my crazy schedule and always-changing personality. Life's an adventure with you:)
It's currently 3:10pm, and I've got a plane to catch. I'm taking a break from throwing things into my suitcase to add one last lesson. I have essentially been watching season one of OTH for the past 18 hours. As ridiculous as it sounds, I've learned a lot from a "quintessential teen tv drama". I love how the show's so relatable. As much as I love guiltily indulging in monday night's of Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill has redeeming qualities and lessons, that are applicable to real suburban middle-class life. Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Or blame it on the empty liters of dr. pepper and chinese boxes, but my current emotional state is so pensive. Sometimes I love to just sit and reflect. I walked Sadie up Moorings Drive, soaking in the rare January warmth from the beaming sunshine. The sun is shone so brightly today. I realized how impatient my generation is; how impatient I am. How I've become so impatient that it's literally driven my decisions for virtually my entire life. I think I'm such a go-getter, because I don't wait around for things to be handed to me. If I want something: a new pair of Madden heels, an internship, acing my final exam... anything really, I figure out a plan of action, and don't take no for an answer. And that's really, really selfish, I think. Because sometimes, no is exactly the answer I need. And, sometimes, good things come only with time.
Taking a hiatus has been a miracle-working for me. Feeling rested, rejuvenated, and in-touch with myself & with Christ, I return to Gods country, ready to tackle the semester ahead.
xoxo
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